Date: 2008-04-21 10:45 Subject: Well arse Security: Public

I appear to be stressed. Maybe it's depressed? I don't really know anymore.

I seem to no longer to be able to sleep, difficulties getting to sleep and I wake up early (but am to tired to actualyl do anything when I wake up) and I'm getting more and more tired with every passing day.

And the trouble is - the motivation to work is simply gone. And missing that motivation the work situation seems to spirl down and down.

I'm not chronic - just a bit - but I need to do something to pull me back out of it. Just not sure what.....

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Date: 2005-09-20 14:31 Subject: Friends Only Security: Public

The possibility of a work/LJ impact has caused me to restrict my LJ to friends only again.

It seems the thing this morning that caused me to go "Warghhhhh" is not as bad as I thought it was - however i'm taking it as a warning and returning to being a sort of hiden journel.

If you want to read - ask - I'll almost certainly say yes.

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Date: 2005-08-15 13:49 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

Thanks for everbody sending me good luck vibes - time for me to go......

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Date: 2005-08-01 09:37 Subject: Morning Security: Public

My tradional lard update can be found not here but over at maviskeefwar. It's the age old strugle between 4 trips to the gym, 1 swim, 1 knackering and a 5km walk against far to much beer, far far to much cheese and a curry. So run over to maviskeefwar to find out the victor!

Weekend stuff
( cut for longness )

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Date: 2005-07-29 09:55 Subject: Random Stuff Security: Public

Saw a link to Greg Coskins (writer of Paranoia and lots of other stuff) blog - which had a presentation on the subject of the games industry - very good, very interesting....

http://www.costik.com/weblog/2005_07_01_blogchive.html#112254986073206098

EDIT : all this game related stuff is making we look forwards to attack_monkey sending me the game document he wants me to look at....

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Date: 2005-07-28 11:19 Subject: Blurk Security: Public

Really rather blurk at the momment. No reason, just a little vacant and brain dead. With no desire to do any of the massive pile of things I need to do at work.... Might be related to this problem I'm having breathing at the momment [gasp] [choke] [splutter] - dont' know why but got a feeling it's linked to sendraks

Roll on the weekend- and a pile of fun things. It's not like this week has been unfilled with fun things - monday night a touch of castle bashing and a picnic, tuesday board games at mine, wednesday night I made humos and got to level 48 (and chatted to people in WOW which was really nice).

I've been good with my food, I've been hitting the gym hard - however I'm going to be doing a reasonable ammount of drinking over the weekend (thursday night couple after work, then pub quiz- friday few in the vic after the movie) and I'm getting a real fear over my weight. No reason I can pin down - but there it is.

Oh and I need to get hold of a padded envelope (or some bubble wrap) so I can send my bloody RAM back, my computer really is not liking being down on RAM. Tabbing out of WoW to check a web page takes a horrible length of time....

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Date: 2004-02-17 09:45 Subject: Monday Night Security: Public

I've been thinking about this for a while and I've decided to turn my journel friends only.

I'm uncomfortable about the one way nature of the information flow between me and CC. So all my future entries will be friends only, I of course reserve the right ot make non-friends posts and/or change my mind totally.

If you want to read my journel ask. I'll almost certainly say yes.

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Date: 2004-02-17 08:31 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

I'll do a news update later.... but this story really caught my eye.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/3494819.stm

( what the f*ck )

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Date: 2004-02-16 15:40 Subject: ? Security: Public

Either I've gone blind, or play.com have stoped selling region 1 DVD's....

They split there region 1 stuff off into play.america. But that, or at least the links to that, appear to have vanished.

When did this happen? Am i just heavily behind the times?

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Date: 2004-02-16 11:49 Subject: Yes! Security: Public

http://www.aint-it-cool-news.com/display.cgi?id=17006

Bubba Ho-Tep got an american release date for DVD. Which means that through the power of Play.com well soon be able to get a copy! Long before it's actually in the cinema in this country.....

Good news. Good news. Despite not actually owning a TV, I'm planning on getting a copy as it will allow me to inflict it on people who do have a TV.

On an untterly unrelated note, I'm considering extending my no booze month into March. There's no big social events coming up, that I'm aware off. And it will help me lose some weight and save some cash. Which i really need having worked out that my credit card debts are getting bigger and bigger and i'm off to B&Q this weekend.

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Date: 2004-02-16 10:04 Subject: The morning after Security: Public

I really wish I'd taken today off work as well.

Mind you then I'd of returned to find horrible things waiting for me, with even less time to do them. Lets see if I can sort this out.

Last night i headed over to the sinister LM's house to drink water, and sit semi-concious watching Firefly episodes which she's got on DVD. I've only seen the first two and there good. Pulpy sci-fi but good. Definetly cowbody's in space. But that's no bad thing frankly....

On a roleplaying note, it's fantastic feel materials for a fading suns campaign which is one of my fav roleplayig game backgrounds.

And then I went home and was tucked up in bed by 9.30 held tight in the land of nod. And I still want to sleep more.

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Date: 2004-02-15 17:12 Subject: The party Security: Public

was without doubt a roaring success!

Thanks to waistcoatmark and the sinister LM I was only running a touch behidn schedule when people arrived, and they were early. I was still in my badminton shorts. Quick shower and a change later and i emerged to party!

And party we did. I was worried that people might not mix, however since there were no large groups everybody mixed and spoke to people. There was even rumor, gossip and scandel. We did have to debate wether someone was allowed to stay in the party after certain events.....

Unfortunetly non of this involved me.

Everybody got drunk (aside from the drivers), but i think I got most drunk out of everybody! I don't think I did naything to naughty... but only time will tell.

I did think at one point that I mgiht have overcatered since everybody ahd eaten and there was mounds of food left. In fact the entire table was covered in plates and bowls. However come three ok in the morning, there was very little left. Think I got that about right.

JB brought brownies, of the standard type, in a heart shaped tin. And I ran round encouraging people to tear chunks out of the heart with there bare hands. All with great gusto. Truly a grand party.

I've not just broken my diet this weekend, I've kicked the ever living sh*t out of it.

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Date: 2004-02-15 09:54 Subject: OH my head Security: Public

Way to much port last night. Way way to much port.

Badminton is off for me. Which Means I can go back to bed, now if only I was not wide awake.

Details of the party to follow later. When, you know, my brain works.

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Date: 2004-02-14 08:29 Subject: So it's here.... Security: Public

...and what do I get in the post? My new morage payements levels. Oh joy!

Managed to get ohhhhh about 1/10 of hte stuff I needed to get done, done yesterday. And bugger all cooking. Sigh I'm really not that organised sometimes.

I did put together one of my new bookcases. On it's own it stops the living room looking empty, but the question is. Why do I have a peice let over.... Oh well

Question for people, mainly hypothetical given my readers, you've got space on your bookshelf (see I told you it was hypothetical) is that space on the left or the right?

Last night got an invite out of the blue to go and watch "my neighbour totoro" last night. Japense animation, but a world away form anything else I've ever seen. It's slow, so slow, but it's truly magical. It made me smile so much.

On a technical note, the subbing is really weird and has lots of lines where nobodyt appears to be saying anything in japense at all. And also subs cover action and sound effects. Why? 'Whooosh' is pretty much universal.

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Date: 2004-02-13 16:15 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

( five questions- cut for your convience )

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Date: 2004-02-13 13:38 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

I had LH over last night, and we sat and chatted for ages. Till I throw her out at midnight. She's a touch broken, but happier then I've seen her for ages. Which was good.

Shoppings been done, and I've officallt spent to much money. If this is not enough food for these people, well then there never was going to be enough! Still need to get some french sticks and paper plates but I can do that tommorow.

And this is fantastic!

http://www.somethingpositive.net/index.html

Someting positive is a deeply strange and odd web comic, of twisted humor and messed up relationships. And it's very crude. Unless you've read a lot most of today's stuff won't actually mean anything to you. However the final panel is worth reading the whole lot for. I may have to put that as my forum signature somewhere.....

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Date: 2004-02-12 15:19 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

For some reason I was struck this lunch time by the fact that my relationship with CC was bound on both side by funerals.

We got together at our mutal friend, Mark Lewis, wake.
We split up two days after I'd buried my friend Dave Broster.

Strange.

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Date: 2004-02-12 14:07 Subject: Crazy Life Style Security: Public

I brought a light bulb and weighed my self! Crazy!

Sorry, the mundane nature of the whole thing really got to me.

With regards to the weight, well it's gone down. It's gone down what i consider to be a good ammont for two weeks. And yet, strangley disapointed. I think it's becuase I'm still over the weight I was when I went in for my op. And until I get back to that I'm still just trying to regain lost ground.

In other news. After the somewhat grim nature of some of my recent posts, I'm going to go back on the happy pills. And I'm not going to go to see my work mates band on friday night. CT's not going and since i'm not allowed to drink I might get a peaceful night in with a book, my blanket and some candles.

Really needs a box of chocolates in there as well, but I don't think I'm allowed that especally as I'm going to be really really bad on saturday night. Only in the food sense unfortunetly.

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Date: 2004-02-12 10:51 Subject: Well..... Security: Public

...i'm still the GM as my players are not all dead. There's a good chance two more of them will be dead sometimes next week as there still in town trying to get people out. Strange, they've just not done the one thing I'd do. I don't know why. They know all the facts, it grim trueth is staring them in the face....

On other notes, sword and hopolite helmet looking less likly. The helmet is much more expensive then I thought. So I'm not able to afford both. I think I want the helmet more then the sword, it'll look cooler.

Realised that I need some sort of small table and maybe a magazine rack against one wall in my living room. Why do I work these things out, after I've come back from Ikea. Mind you I spent to much so proberbly a good thing. Oh and I rememebred the other thing I forgot from Ikea. Bloody waste paper baskets for the living room, by the front door and for the bathroom (although that's less waste paper really).

Oh and off to weigh myself at lunch time. Wish me luck.

EDIT: I've had one comment on this thread. It was random spam christian e-mail pushing some piece of shit christian movie- now delted. For some reason, this really really annoyed me. Yes I understand you want to save my soul, but pissing me off, is really not going to help. Show some empathy. Spam and mass mailing are souless tools, hurl enough shit into the world and some of it sticks. However you end up pissing off more of your 'client base'. If your a mayfly company what do you care? If your trying to represent the christian faith to people, any action you take reflects back on your faith. You advertise penis enlargement this way, or porn, not God. So congratulations you've proved, once again, that there's nothing that stops a christian from being a complete dick.

I don't think I can really sum up why this has annoyed me so much. Perhaps simply, despute personal experience, I expect better from Christians.

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Date: 2004-02-11 18:44 Subject: I want my friend back Security: Public

I was sitting on the top deck of the bus heading home, and I looked out of the window to see CC walking through town.

And I almost started to cry. I miss her.

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